Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
