her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
