Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
