i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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