worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
