That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
