is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
