this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
