you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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