You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
