if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
