drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize