There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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