I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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