She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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