Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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