I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
