i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
