I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
