No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
