Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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