so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
