when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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