I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
