margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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