Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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