All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
