Sry I called you an 8
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
