Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
