your room smells of hookers.
And success
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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