Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
