Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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