do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
