i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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