you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i just had sex bonerless
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
