When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
