He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
