just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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