no. you can't hotbox the world.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
