You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
