Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
