so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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