Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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