I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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