there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
