Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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