she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
