Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
