Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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