I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's just like the Real World with babies
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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