they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
