I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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