We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
