i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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