Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
