How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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