God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize