i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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