I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
