ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
