I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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