I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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