I'm eating all of the evidence.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
