I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
