I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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